Dear Mary,

I see President Blair is to give a massive boost to the Wigton tourist industry by honouring Cumbria with his presence for a long weekend.

I hope, should he venture outdoors, that he is suitably clad in Rockwool as an insulation against any REAL people, unvetted, wronged, angry, aggrieved as they may be, that wish to let him know just what a (and I quote directly from Margaret Beckett at this point) " howling success " his policies are considered by Cumbrians.

Will he actually have the gall to risk getting anywhere near real people ? No, I'll answer that one myself, of course he won't, he hasn't the guts. I have noticed he seems to favour visits to schools where he obviously feels safe and secure and superior.

School is now out so where will he go ? Not the local WI ! I recall these wonderful women caused him to sweat visably and I doubt he would willingly repeat the experience. So, he can holiday anywhere as long as its nowhere near me; there is only so much disinfectant in the world (and, after all, we do have to consider biosecurity, don't we?)