Dear Mary,

I have a theory and it goes like this -

When I worked for a farm growing vegetables for a supermarket chain we were informed that 'the housewife' refused to buy leeks and carrots that weren't perfectly straight.

This mysterious but powerful woman who made us discard otherwise sound vegetables transformed herself into a more sinister figure last year - 'The consumer'. In her new guise she single handedly prevented fm vaccination by announcing that she wouldn't eat vaccinated meat, though I happen to know she enjoys a corned beef sandwich.