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(Games open in new window and may take a few moments if your machine is as old as ours and/or connection as slow)

Throw eggs (organic, free range) at your favourite politicians - and others


Rocket Mania
Use the fuses to connect a burning match to one or more rockets. Earn coins for launching multiple rockets at one time. Collect them to upgrade your rockets

fling the cow (This game will be removed on April 24 2004 - a victim of its own success, alas.)


Click here To see the Leaders of the FREE WORLD in action
to ..... (click on the word at the bottom to see the other face)

Definitely not cricket....click here


NO real penguins were harmed in the making or playing of this game



Here is an X-ray of Mr Bush at the podium...


The following questions and answers were collated from British GCSE exams.

Geography
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made Safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no Water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Sociology
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Biology

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g.abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, The borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain,the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.

Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.


(From Nick Green)

Q:- How many MAFF/DEFRA personnel does it take to change a light bulb?

A:- Two. One to tell you it's all under control and the other one to plug it in to a tap....


Patient: Doctor, I think I'm a dog.

Psychiatrist: Ah. Get onto the couch.

Patient: I'm not allowed.