I have just been watching BBC Breakfast News - it appeals to the intellectual in me - and have just seen the feature about BSE testing in sheep

This has apparently been slightly hampered over the past 5 years as it seems that MAFF/DEFRA has somehow inexplicably confused cows with sheep as the DNA tests on the samples taken so far show them to be from the former rather than the latter. Silly billies, everyone knows sheep are those pink things with curly tails which go "oink oink".

So then we had John Krebs wheeled on to do his Corporal Jones "dont panic" act, during which of course he always manages somehow to scare the s*** out of you by what he doesnt say. I started to feel I was in the middle of something surreal, but this was all put into perspective a few minutes later by a visit to the Elvis Presley Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas. I was just guffawing at the stupidity of it all and patting myself on the back that at least we Brits werent quite as stupid as Americans when the "Happy" couple - complete with ridiculous black wigs and self-consciously jiving to the Elvis Presley impersonator who married them singing "Viva Las Vegas" - opened their mouths to speak.

Yes, you've guessed it, they were from Britain - DEFRA employees perhaps?

Beam me up Scottie